An open letter to Tim Finchem from Australian golf fans

Mr Tim Finchem
US PGA Tour Commissioner
100 PGA TOUR Boulevard
Ponte Vedra Beach, FL 32082
Dear Mr.Finchem,
We’ve recently heard the news that from 2013, your tour will end in September, and tee off again in October. With such lucrative prize-money and FedEx Cup points on offer, we’re wondering if you realise that it will be all but impossible to lure the best golfers from your tour to play in what few tournaments we still have left.
It’s going to be difficult to just lure Australian golfers back home and it feels a lot like you’re going to be holding our players to ransom. We had a tough enough time just getting Jason Day back in the country when there was a few months break at the end of the year. What chance have we got when his off-season is going to be barely more than three days?

We know how willing you are to grow the game in other countries and realise you would never do something to jeopardise the game internationally, so we’re just looking for an explanation Was it something we said?
We’re sorry about that tricky question at the Presidents Cup and all those suggestions that a few more of the World Golf Championship events should be shared around the world a little more, well, that was nothing more than just a joke! We really think you should have all the World Golf Championships and I, for one, think you should have all the majors too. The Open Championship would b a perfect fit for New England and I’m sure a fifth major in Utah would be a massive boost for the state.
I mean, if anything it kind of feels like you owe us. 
We’ve been shipping off golfers to the PGA Tour for many years now. There are 18 of us on tour this year, and I haven’t even mentioned the Aussies on the Nationwide Tour, nor the countless rounds of golf I played up in Massachusetts one year.
We’ve provided plenty of highlights too haven’t we?
None of us will ever forget Craig Parry’s hole out to win at Doral and if it wasn’t for Geoff Ogilvy, the 2006 US Open would have been won by a golfer who couldn’t make par. Not a good look for the nation’s most prestigious open golf tournament.
We’ve even been happy to lose when needed. 
Our golfers have happily taken second place in seven US Masters’ now, with Americans winning on five of those occasions. It’s taken a huge toll on our country’s psyche as we’re not used to losing so often but we’re happy if it is for the greater good of the PGA Tour. Ok, so the US Masters isn’t strictly a PGA Tour event, but you get my point.
And what about all those American victories at The Presidents Cup? It’s not easy to assemble a team of the finest golfers from outside the US and Europe and get them to play as poorly as they have. I mean, you seriously don’t think Robert Allenby could play that poorly on a course he grew up on do you?
We’re just all a bit disappointed down here as we’ve just come off the most exciting summer of Australian golf in many decades. Your mate Tiger has been very generous with his time and been happy to pop Down Under which has kick started our golf tournaments again. Great golfers now seem to pop down to play the Australian Masters each year, the Australian Open has regained a little of the pride it once lost and the Australian PGA Championship has golfers challenging each other to duels, just to get a spot in the field.
We were all looking forward to the years ahead when we can bank on some decent tournaments (on decent courses) with decent golfers, held in our own backyard.
Look, we’re just all assuming this is a bit of a joke. You do have a wicked sense of humour. But on the off chance this isn’t a joke, let it be known we won’t take this lying down. 
We won’t take this as merely a slap in the face. Most of us will consider it more like a deliberate blow to the mid-rift. Probably something more akin to the golf club scene in Uncle Buck. With you as John Candy and us as the skinny teenager trying to get lucky with your niece.
We’re going to have to start disobeying orders and  begin winning majors again. We’re not going to stand for second place any more if you’re just going to hold our golfers for ransom. And when we take The Presidents Cup in Ohio next year, just remember that you brought it all upon yourself.
We’ve also got a larger than life (and many open-cut mines) mining magnate too. And I can tell you that if he gets wind of this, well, lets just say the CIA will become involved. To use a golfing term, it really feels like we’ve been shafted on this one, and we’re starting to wonder if the CIA aren’t involved already.
Yours Sincerely,
Aussie Golfer. And all Australian golf fans.

10 thoughts on “An open letter to Tim Finchem from Australian golf fans

  • March 29, 2012 at 04:18
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    If only you could get him to read this!

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  • March 29, 2012 at 23:35
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    cheesy and ridiculous

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  • March 30, 2012 at 02:51
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    Pay no attention to the bloke above me using my name (what? no Twitter registration/log in?), this was funny & delightful. As a Yank who loves Aussie golf, I was in heaven this past winter (your summer) watching live golf from Down Under the night beforehand. (Don’t bother me with time zones & datelines, I enjoy my chance to peer into Thursday while it’s still Wednesday here)

    If Wee Timmy ignores your missive and continues to insult by brother golfers in Oz, well… all I can say is perhaps I’ll book a trip to Melbourne this winter to support Aussie golf in person.

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  • May 22, 2012 at 00:21
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    Would have been more powerful if you had have put your name to the letter. No use writing it anonymously. Signed anon

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  • July 11, 2012 at 10:12
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    Maybe it could swing the other way? Get the best young Aussie golfers in there with a chance to win a spot in the masters etc. very unlikely but I try to stay positive.
    No offence to our US friends on here but most americans think its the centre of the universe. Why would the PGA care if Aussie golf lives or dies.

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  • July 11, 2012 at 12:24
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    Well Written indeed.

    It is a cold day in Hell when an organisation that says it wants to grow the game of golf globally actually does that, globally. It seems that growing the game of golf is important as long as the globe is in the 51 patches of dirt that make up the US.

    Look at what happened in 2011 with the LPGA Tour and their first stop to S. Korea. The players were mobbed, sold out every day, television was through the roof and now, sponsors are falling over themselves for a slice of the action.

    The European tour has more events outside europe than in!

    It should be a prerequisite, that all PGA tour card holders MUST travel internationally 2 times a year to keep their card. Some PGA Tour players do not even have a passport. That in its self show a level of arrogance and ignorance in America for all things international.

    Reply

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