Kiwi’s troubled by Tiger

It was mentioned during the week that the world would be a much more interesting place if the only nuclear power in the world was New Zealand. It is true that it is a most beautiful country full of the friendliest people on the planet and the world would be in good hands but even the Kiwi’s get troubled by world affairs.
New Zealand’s highest paid sportsperson is Tiger Woods’ caddie Steve Williams, so perhaps they have as much right as anybody to be troubled by the Tiger affair.
The Junior Tiger tournament was created last November to promote junior golf in New Zealand with the winner representing New Zealand in this years World Junior golf Championships in San Diego. It is a junior “golfing pop idol” of sports according to the Sunday News and organisers are reconsidering their association with Woods. Animated Tiger’s litter the Junior Tiger website and a re-branding would time consuming and costly.
It is the biggest news to hit New Zealand golf since Michael Campbell’s US Open victory in 2005. To say Michael Campbell has struggled since that victory would be like saying Tiger Woods slept with a few women. According to the Sunday Star Times even Campbell is perplexed by it all:
“I’ve been out with Tiger socially on a few occasions and there’s no way I picked it up,” Campbell said.
Asked if he had been following the saga with interest, Campbell, who famously beat Woods to win the 2005 US Open, said: “Interest? Not really. But I feel for both sides.”A lot of guys are surprised by what’s unfolded over the last couple of months – he just didn’t seem that way.”He had this secret life that no-one knew about, people say they did [know] but I didn’t.”
Can anyone else see the opportunity for New Zealand golf right here? One time Kiwi hero and former US Open champion in the golfing wilderness and the country’s highest paid sportsperson out of work. It is not hard to put two and two together or in this case, one and one.
Nevermind Steve Williams saying he won’t caddie for anyone else again, for the right money perhaps some incentives from New Zealand golf and the two of them can pair up. After all, it may have been Williams that led Tiger down the wrong path in the first place.
Reportedly after Woods won at Valhalla at the PGA championship in 2000, he was over the moon and very excited about the real prospect of beating Jack Nicklaus’ record of 18 major wins. “I’ve just won five Stevie! Only 14 more and I’ve beaten Jack!”.
Ever the professional caddie and the responsible New Zealander, Williams replied “Tiger, just keep calm. You need to get back out there tomorrow and focus on six.”
The rest is now history.*
Cambo and Stevie together would give junior golfers across New Zealand and new golfing pair to idolise. I think all golfers across the world would be interested in this pairing and Cambo needs all the help he can get.
Michael Campbell’s website
*Not true. An exclusive Aussie Golfer joke. My apologies to all my great New Zealand friends.

Image source: Reuters

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5 thoughts on “Kiwi’s troubled by Tiger

  • Ha Ha, nice delivery AG. Looking forward to the response from New Zealand Golfer!

  • Well done AG,

    Given, as the late Hon. Rob Muldoon (NZ Prime Minister) quipped, that the IQ of NZer’s is higher than those of Australia. The subtlety of the joke may have been missed by your worldwide audience.

    Am I to take it that with Steve’s acent, a fine one at that, that Tiger mistook his pronuciation of “six” as sex?

    Ironically Steve was quoted once as saying he always knew when the Shark had had “sex” because of his filthy mood on the next tee.


  • Nothing would make me happier than to have Steve Williams caddy for Cambo. Problem is, caddying is Steve’s job. Cambo isn’t known for making cuts which means no money for Steve. He should caddy for Danny Lee, he’s got talent, just needs a good influence on the course. That would be a great kiwi pairing!


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